I was incredibly nervous, yet very excited about turning 30.
Truth be told, there was a period of life where I look forwarded to the next day, the next week, and maybe the next month. The next year? Definitely wasn’t a guarantee. Some people have that plan in life and I think I’ve eased into having some foresight and setting out some benchmarks. If there is one thing I’ve learned at 30 is that, timing is everything.
The cool thing about living in the Bay Area is that during September, summer usually has it’s golden hour. It’s never too hot with the cool breezes that overtake the evenings and it makes it the perfect weather to have a dinner out. And when John invites you to dinner, you usually don’t say no. This was the perfect Saturday evening.
It’s so weird to think I am going to be turning 30 in about 2 weeks.
Because of the way life carried on in the past, I used to live everyday like tomorrow didn’t exist. It made it easier to push through a bit of the struggle. It was always now or never. Every negative of then has been built into a (mostly) positive, sarcastic, and charming attitude to life that is now.
Here’s some proof conveniently packaged into a list of 30 (in honor of 30):
Don’t overstay your welcome, ever. A lady (or any human being paying attention) should never be asked to leave. This concerns dinner parties, mainly. But also relationships.
Never go on a coffee date, they are generally a waste of time. No one is going to get hard over the foam on a cappuccino.
Give your time to people that matter, who truly care about you, and add value to your life.
It’s easy to constantly play the victim, but it’s better to approach the situation with the things that are in your control and move on.
A macaron and a glass of champagne makes an excellent breakfast. It also makes a mood elevator that is comparable to the world’s finest Xanax.
Save a little bit of money. You never know when in life you’re going to need to deliver a good F U. “Fuck you,” is easier said and sounds better if you have some money to make it happen.
Speaking of number 6, get to know a lawyer. You might need help with that “fuck you.”
You should know your relationship with alcohol by now. If you don’t, look up a rehab center.
Never trust a big butt and a nice smile. That’s very dangerous.
If someone wants to do it, they’ll do it. End of story.
Your intuition is the only thing you can count on to not lie to you. When it speaks you should listen to it, like the way you should listen to a Starbucks barista repeating back your order to you.
You can tell a lot about the person if you share a meal with them. The small details come out in different ways. How do they react to taste? Are they nice to the server? Do they chew with their mouth open? Do they offer to share?
Shoes can also tell a lot about a person. Uggs in the summer can prove a conflict just as sandals with socks in the winter.
Make an effort to keep things that are important to you by putting in the right kind of effort. Also, put in the effort to let go of things that no longer serve their purpose.
Most people react, a lot of people never take time to listen. Listening sometimes is more powerful than talking.
Life’s best thrills come when you conquer your fears.
Everything will work out when it’s supposed to. It’s called timing.
One of the best life skills is to learn how to be a good host. Speaking of, can anyone teach me how to assemble a beautiful meat and cheese plate that will pair well with a Chardonnay?
Confidence speaks softly, insecurities will speak loudly.
Don’t overthink certain things, you lose your abilities to be genuine.
If you are in the throes of passion, make sure your head is not pointing towards the door when on a bed. It can be a bad angle for you in case someone walks in suddenly.
Bad kissers are a deal breaker.
The ability to write and send a card is underrated and underappreciated, however it can go a long way for you in life.
It never takes that much effort to do something nice for someone. The most it will take is just a little bit of thought.
I’ve had a lot of luck when I wear a tiny bit of leather on a first date. Just saying.
If you are hooking up with someone and they put on Coldplay, run. It’s not worth it. They never meant to cause you trouble, but there will be a lot of it if you go through with it.
A smile and a hello can open more doors than you think. Unless you got some shit in your teeth.
For certain life situations, it’s all about the delivery. Sometimes you have to send the limo before you send the bus behind it to run someone over.
Know your best asset. And keep it maintained.
Nothing you want is ever impossible. You just have to be willing to work for it.
Bye 29, it’s been real. Hey 30, I’m coming for you!
Initially, when I thought of New York — I always thought of madness, a city that never slept, and just a good energy that was alive all the time. This was the thought all the way up to my 25th birthday; I had said that “I need to make it to New York” before I was 26. The late 20’s were kicking in, I was getting heavily disillusioned (or my hang-over was becoming residual not going away anytime soon) and I needed to be inspired.
Well after dealing with a hurricane named Irene, some other setbacks, everything didn’t go as planned. But I did make it there for the end of my 27th year. 28 was the first time I was in New York.
I was a little nervous about going to NYC by myself, but I ended up learning a lot about who I was and what I was really capable of. You don’t know about anything until you just throw yourself in a place you’ve never been before, with only you, and especially a place like New York. I thought at any rate, I was gonna get in a cab and the driver was gonna mug me and dump me in the Brooklyn Bridge. Or I was gonna get on a subway and get lost all the way to Harlem and ended up being in a sequel to “Precious,” the movie.
There were some things I wanted to do but ended up not doing because I was by myself. Loneliness kicked in and I wasn’t brave enough to go see “Evita” on Broadway like I had planned or jump on the Staten Island ferry and see the Statue of Liberty.
They always say “Paris is made for lovers.” I think some parts of New York are kept in that same regard.
The loneliness was apparent when I was walking home one night off of the subway and wanted to rehearse SaTC lines because I was drunk. I had no one to play Mr. Big, so it was a no-go.
However, New York was magical and inspiring. There was nothing like the experience of walking along and getting lost in the Financial District, cruising by St. Paul’s Church, and then ending up in a street festival for Columbus Day. There is nothing like that seeing the smile of an old friend greet you in the middle of the madness that is Times Square. There is nothing like a boozy brunch on the weekend, or tucking away into a cafe to have an intimate chat with a friend whose life choice took her to the other coast. There is no charm like walking along the streets and ending up in Greenwich Village in a tiny gritty bar to catch up with someone from college over beers. There is nothing like SoHo, all the inspiration, creativity, and more so the fashion (also watching the beautiful fashionable scruffy men look smoldering in a t-shirt)! There is nothing like Grand Central in all it’s glory, and it’s Serena van der Woodsen realness. There is nothing like starting off your morning with a live taping of the Wendy Williams Show! There is nothing like Chelsea, breathing with beautiful gorgeous older men, and having a martini while watching people walk by in the muggy weather. There is nothing like the energy of New York to make you meet a friend you’ve only known through photos! There is absolutely nothing like a meatball from New York (I died). There is absolutely nothing like the crunch of a New York pizza. There is nothing like the adventure of walking the city at night and just taking it all in and being silly singing Christina Aguilera in the middle of Washington Square.
There is nothing like New York.
New York, thank you for the inspiration. I’m sure I’ll be back.